Five Times Finn Walks In On Kurt and Blaine Getting It On
by Cordelia Rose
Summary: (and one time he walks away).


I started off with this idea to do a 5+1, because I haven't done one before and thought it would be fun! Then…it kind of became a very basic structure for me to write some Klaine and brotherly Furt fluff, I think? Not sure what happened, not sure if it's good, but you can have it anyway. Also, first time writing for Glee! I started watching it recently and I kind of love it, but I also kind of hate how inconsistent their characterization is, among other things. So this is probably OOC, because I've just kind of gone for it. Everyone else who I've read seems to be able to just jump into the characters' heads with ease, whereas I struggled a bit.

* * *

 **1**

Finn's okay with the whole gay thing now. Totally. Doesn't mean he enjoys walking in on his brother (step, whatever, still his brother) sucking face with another guy. Even less so when it's a proper, full-on, in-your-face kiss too, Kurt pressed down into the sofa with Blaine straddling him, hands disappearing up the back of shirts and soft moans from both parties echoing far too loudly in the otherwise empty room.

"Dude!" he exclaims, throwing his arms up and chucking popcorn out of the bowls he's holding. "I was gone for like…two seconds!"

The glare Kurt throws him is nothing short of acidic, but slightly dampened by how flushed he is. And also because he's still lying underneath Blaine, who's grinning somewhat sheepishly but kind of smugly too, and looking at Kurt like he's the reason the world goes round. It's really cute, actually. Finn's glad that Kurt has Blaine, even if they scar him for life occasionally. "Five minutes, Finn," Kurt says waspishly, then scrambles to sit up properly, best bitch face employed. "I think I'm perfectly entitled to make out with my boyfriend when you take that long to microwave popcorn." His tone is nothing short of scornful and judgemental, and he crosses his arms over his chest for maximum effect. Blaine scoots slightly so they're both sitting closely but not literally pressed together, and shoots the two of them sideways glances like he always does when he senses an argument brewing. If argument means Kurt saying things that Finn doesn't understand so he eventually just gives up, that is.

Finn feels kind of stung by the tone, the implication that he's too stupid to make microwave popcorn. "Dude," he says again, but sadly this time. "I was just making sure I didn't burn it." He was, too. The instructions were kind of complicated, and he knows that Kurt really likes popcorn.

Something in Kurt's face softens and he sighs, relenting, and curls into Blaine's side. "Let's get on with the movie," he says quietly, beaming when Blaine presses a gentle kiss to his temple, and Finn bounces over to join them on the couch with the remains of the popcorn.

Halfway through the film Kurt falls asleep, presumably exhausted from making bitchy comments all day, and later Finn carries him up to bed. He does a good job of pretending not to melt inside when he sees Blaine tuck him in and kiss him on the forehead tenderly, before going to make up his own bed on the sofa (by himself, because Blaine is that much of a gentleman).

* * *

 **2**

Finn knows that Kurt is having some 'alone time' with Blaine right now, but they've been in Kurt's room for almost two hours already, and Finn's bored of annihilating zombies, and besides he needs to thank Blaine for telling him about Selena Gomez because not only is she _smoking_ , she has some awesome songs and he really likes them. Innocent intentions in mind, he wanders down from his room to Kurt's, and swings the ajar door open further before looking into the room.

Oh, the horror. The make-out session on the couch last week was bad enough, but this…

At first, Finn thinks that it is just like last week on the couch, because the positions are the same. Blaine on top, Kurt underneath, the room deathly silent apart from slurps (gross) and the occasional breathy moan, but after a few seconds Finn notices that they're kind of moving. Another couple of seconds after that and he manages to identify their movements as _grinding_ , and oh grilled Cheesus the two of them are grinding against each other.

Finn does what any real man would do in that situation: squeals, then runs back to his own room. He thinks he might hear an exasperated groan from Kurt and a laugh from Blaine, but mostly he's just thinking about how he's never leaving his room again.

* * *

 **3**

"Finn, go get your brother from the car, will you?" his mom calls from the kitchen. She's washing up dinner dishes while Burt dries them and puts them away, so Finn gets up without grumbling about missing his TV show. They'd all heard the car pull into the driveway ten minutes ago, but as usual neither Blaine nor Kurt had made an appearance yet. It was a common occurrence, if not a welcome one for Burt, perhaps, but they all knew that being a gay couple in Ohio meant that they don't get the same opportunities to kiss or be affectionate in public like Finn and Rachel or any straight couples do. At Carole's persuasion, Burt lets them have some time in the car after their dates, and pretends to ignore their flushed faces and slightly red lips when they finally walk in.

"Okay!" he hollers back, heading out the front door with his usual heavy footsteps, and heads over to where Blaine's pulled his car up next to Kurt's Navigator. Usually they'd have the light on over the front seats, highlighting the angles of their faces as they ate each other's, but today it's off and the interior of the car is in near darkness. Finn doesn't think anything of it, just goes to knock on the driver's side window like usual, but as he gets closer he can kind of see inside even without the light.

The driver's seat is empty, and so is the passenger seat. Finn shrugs and moves to the back windows. Sometimes he makes out with Rachel in the back seat of the car instead, there's more room. He's fully prepared to find the two of them macking on each other, expecting it even, but when he peers through the glass he discovers a little more than just making out.

Kurt is straddling Blaine's lap, painting kisses down the side of Blaine's jaw and neck while Blaine himself grips the back of Kurt's jacket with one hand and massages his scalp with the other – crimes for which any other human would be strung up, he's sure – and his hand is very obviously down the front of Blaine's trousers. Every time Kurt moves his arm Blaine makes a little noise, a gasp or a moan or a whimper, so it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on.

Finn backs away quietly and sits on the porch for five minutes before he dares to go back, relieved to find them just kissing at that point, and they disentangle with their usual reluctance. Kurt looks a little more rumpled than usual, apparently hasn't even noticed that his hair is out of place, but Blaine appears aware of how absolutely dishevelled he is himself, so he declines to come in for a cup of tea and heads straight back to his own house instead.

In the kitchen, Burt asks why Blaine didn't come in, looking rather annoyedly at Kurt's hair and wrinkled clothes. Carole seems to have figured out that Burt is quite in the mood to castrate Blaine right now, while Kurt remains blissfully unaware of any such intentions, and just steers Burt towards the laundry room to save them all any embarrassment.

* * *

 **4**

"Finn, go find what's taking Kurt and Blaine so long, will you?" Mr Schuester calls absent-mindedly, busy working on some choreography with Mike and Brittany, and with a heavy heart Finn leaves the choir room (accompanied by a chorus of wolf-whistles and cheers, of course).

Finn is very much aware of what's taking the two of them so long, because this is like the fourth time this week that they've been late to or left a lesson only for some unfortunate soul to find them making out in the janitor's closet. The same closet, too, each time. Maybe it smells less of cleaning products than all the others? Still gross.

Maybe it's partly his fault that they have to resort to this, because he keeps walking in on them at home, Finn muses as he walks. Maybe this is the only way they're able to get any proper action. He feels even guiltier as he approaches the closet, then thinks of a really great joke and feels better.

"Thought you guys were meant to be out of the closet," he cries jovially as he throws open the door, and chuckles to himself. Good joke, Finn.

There's a kind of strangled yelp, high enough to be only Kurt, and then from behind a shelving unit full of bleach and other stuff emerges Blaine, looking slightly dazed and not so put together as usual. "Finn," he greets, and if his voice is a little hoarser than usual Finn doesn't really think anything of it. "What are you – oh, is it time for Glee?"

"Yeah. Where's Kurt?"

"Right here, you _lummox_ ," Kurt growls, appearing next to Blaine, frantically combing through his hair and scowling. "Seriously, Finn?"

"What? Mr Schue asked me to come get you." Finn doesn't really understand why he's so annoyed, but it's Kurt. He gets annoyed pretty easily, even when Blaine is around.

"Your hair looks fine," Blaine reassures, staring at Kurt with a dumb, love-struck expression, and Kurt pauses in his grooming to smile back and drop his hands.

Then he looks at Blaine properly, "Yours doesn't," and starts fussing immediately. Finn rocks on his heels and waits for them to be done, and only feels a little bit guilty when they glance at each other like they want to kiss but then notice Finn's presence and stop.

Finally, in Finn's mind, they head back to the choir room and walk into another cacophony of hoots and catcalls. Kurt flushes and hurries to his seat, Blaine following at a more reserved pace, and apologises to Mr Schuester for being late in an even tone, who waves it off with a fond smile.

"Have a good time, boys?" Santana asks, with a smile that reminds Finn of a cat toying with a mouse before it eats it.

"Whatever would give you that impression, Santana," Blaine replies easily, slinging an arm over the back of Kurt's chair in a gesture that looks casual but Finn knows is to keep Kurt calm. He looks so red that he's going to explode.

"Maybe because Lady Hummel's belt is the wrong way around," she cackles, and the entire room dissolves into giggles, with the exception of Mr Schue who is pretending to hear nothing of this conversation and is deep in conversation with Brad instead.

Finn glances over to see that, in fact, Kurt did put his belt back on with the buckle facing inwards, and looks back up to judge how Kurt's taking this news. He looks like he wants nothing more than to shrivel up and die. He appears only slightly placated by Blaine leaning in close and whispering something, but thankfully the attention is taken off him when the room quiets and they all hear Brittany say to Mike, "Sometimes I forget how to eat. Like, chewing is hard, right?"

* * *

 **5**

Finn hadn't seen anything wrong with Kurt having a few drinks. In his mind, Kurt is far too stressed and uptight all the time, so it was good that maybe he would finally relax. What he forgot, though, was that while he could down a few beers and only be slightly buzzed from it, Kurt was a few inches shorter and a lot inches slimmer than him, and two cups of whatever the hell he'd been drinking turned out to be sufficient to get him absolutely hammered.

Blaine, who had offered to be designated driver that night, is currently in charge of taking care of Kurt, which seems to entail trying to persuade Kurt to drink some water (which is only successful when Blaine starts going on about how his skin will suffer otherwise) and fending off his drunken advances. It's a pretty big indicator that Kurt's drunk, because usually he won't do anything more than a hug (and rarely a quick peck) around other people, but now he's periodically trying to clamber onto Blaine's lap and stick his tongue down his throat, which Blaine is patiently and gently rebuffing each time. Finn's really glad, not for the first time, that Kurt had found Blaine, because he was a pretty awesome boyfriend for not taking advantage of him when he was drunk. Rachel had told him all about informed consent a little while ago, but Blaine probably already knew. That's how awesome he is.

About half an hour later, though, the two of them are nowhere to be seen. Santana and Puck, who are equally drunk and equally crude, inform Finn that Blaine had taken Kurt to the bathroom because he was worried Kurt was starting to look a little green around the gills (Finn must look confused at this, because Mercedes, standing nearby and not quite as drunk, explains that this means Kurt was feeling sick and not that he was turning into a fish). "They went a little while ago," Puck adds with a fairly lecherous grin, and Santana mutters her own, "Wanky," before they stumble back over to what qualified as the dance floor to grind on each other sloppily.

Finn decides that as step-brother, it's his duty to go and find the two of them in case Kurt really is puking his guts out – or becoming a fish – so he heads up to the ground floor of Rachel's house and presses his ear to the first bathroom he comes across, then cautiously pushes it open. Empty. Same for the next one.

Unsure why they'd venture up to the next floor just so Kurt could throw up, Finn heads up the stairs, pausing to look at some of the pictures of Rachel as a kid, most of them taken at various competitions she'd won. Kind of cute, kind of irritating. Reaching the top of the stairs, he hears a kind of thump and then a low voice coming from the nearest bathroom on the left, and grins triumphantly.

Not bothering to listen outside this time, he just barges in, determined to help his little brother with the horrors of upchucking, only to find that vomiting was definitely _not_ what was going on. Not yet at least, considering how his stomach turns when he takes in what was happening. Not because of the gay, of course. Just because it's his brother and his friend, doing decidedly _not friend_ things.

At first Finn thinks that Blaine is just groping Kurt's butt while they make out. Kurt is leaning back against the sink, shirt tucked up, and if he opened his eyes then he would definitely see Finn. Blaine's back is to the door and he's pressed firmly against Kurt, causing him to lean back slightly. Finn can cope with that. Then he realises that he can hear a kind of…squelchy sound, which is just unpleasant on about fifty different levels, and after about five seconds of standing there in stunned silence, he sees that Kurt's doing this weird squirmy motion, rocking back against Blaine's hand and whimpering into their joined mouths, and it all clicks. _Oh_. He'd stolen some of Kurt's pamphlets after Puck had made some jokes that he didn't understand, and he'd always kind of assumed that Kurt would be the girl – but there was a difference between theorising and actually seeing the proof.

Finn releases a very unmanly squeak and flees the scene before Kurt (still quite drunk and not quite with it, apparently, because he doesn't even move or react) or Blaine (a little faster on the reaction time but still too distracted to turn around quickly enough) can see him making a tactical retreat. From the way that neither of them make eye contact with him on the way home, they figured out who it was anyway.

* * *

 **+1**

Finn gets back late from football practice, still flushed despite a cold shower, and barges into the house. "Hey, Finn," Burt greets, setting the table. "Your mom says dinner's in half an hour. Mind running upstairs and letting Kurt and Blaine know?"

"Blaine's here? Cool!" Finn says, and bounds upstairs. He means it – when Blaine's here, Kurt's more relaxed, and less snappy and sarcastic. He seems happier, too, which Finn likes. Also, Blaine can talk with him and his dad about football, and it's nice to talk to another guy about that stuff sometimes. Kurt just bitches about stirrup pants if he tries to involve him. He stumbles towards Kurt's door, and frowns. It's closed, which is against the Hummel-Hudson house rules. If boys are in Kurt's room, the door has to stay open, and the same goes for Finn with girls. When he'd heard that, Finn had grinned and nudged Kurt in a brotherly manner. 'Equality!' he remembers saying, thinking that this was what Kurt kept talking about with gay rights. 'Sure,' Kurt had responded, and patted him on the shoulder.

He's about to open the door, because he doesn't want Kurt to get into trouble if their parents find out that he's got it closed. Then he hears a creak of a bed, and a muffled laugh, then Blaine's low voice, and Finn suddenly realises why the door might be closed. He flushes even more and bounds back downstairs.

"Hey sweetie," his mom says when he appears in the kitchen, busy with some pots at the stove. "Did you tell them?"

"Uh," Finn says eloquently. He could have maybe shouted at them through the door, he guesses, but he was just so freaked out that he ran away. "Yeah," he says very unconvincingly.

His mom glances at him with an unreadable expression, then looks out to where Burt is watching TV in the living room. "Finn," she says quietly. "Was their door closed?"

His mom is some kind of wizard, he thinks, because she always seems to know what's going on. "Yeah," he admits.

His mom nods and stirs something. "Finn…I know we have that rule about open doors, but…sometimes, it's better to let people break rules," she explains quietly.

Finn frowns at her, because that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Why make the rules if you're just going to let people break them? There'd be blind people driving cars soon if his mom was in charge of anything.

"If Kurt and Blaine want to have sex, then they will," she carries on, either not noticing or ignoring how he winces at the word 'sex'. "And it's better that they do it here, where they will be safe, than somewhere else…not so safe."

"You mean like the car?" Finn blurts out.

Carole giggles. "That's one example, yes, but I was thinking more about Blaine's house. You know his dad isn't as good about… people being gay, as Burt is?" Finn nods, because Kurt had mentioned that once a little while ago with a stony expression. "Not that either of you should be making a habit of it, but…I'd rather you were doing these things at home, where I know you're not in trouble."

Finn nods, processing this. "Does Burt know?" He can't imagine Kurt's dad happily sitting back and watching TV knowing that his son is bumping uglies upstairs.

Carole smiles gently. "He knows. Just doesn't think about it." Something makes a bubbling noise, and she turns her attention back to the stove, frowning at it. "Don't think you can just start bringing random girls home though," she says absent-mindedly. "That would be different."

Finn lumbers over to join Burt on the sofa until Carole calls that dinner is ready, and then they get up to help her bring dishes out. Burt calls upstairs to the boys to come downstairs, and then there's a series of thumps and footsteps, and the hum of conversation.

It's painfully obvious what Kurt and Blaine have been up to when they arrive – they hurry downstairs fake-casually with un-gelled hair (Blaine) and loose sweatpants (Kurt) and slightly rumpled shirts (both of them). Finn kind of expects an explosion from Burt, despite what his mom said, but as usual his mom knows everything and he doesn't even blink, just asks Kurt if he'll get drinks for everyone.

Blaine offers to get them instead and pulls Kurt's chair out for him, and Finn smiles because yeah, maybe it's not blood, but Kurt is his brother and he deserves to be treated well. He misses the scrutinising look Burt sends at the action, especially when Kurt winces slightly as he sits down. Finn thinks about the conversation with his mom during dinner, and figures out that Burt it okay with it probably because Kurt can't get pregnant. His mom's still kind of traumatised from when she found him singing at a sonogram.

Finn guesses it doesn't really matter, as he eyes Kurt and Blaine doing the washing up together. Kurt seems happy. Like, really happy, not even getting upset when Blaine smears bubbles on his cheek. And if Kurt's happy, then Finn's happy.

Well, as long as he doesn't ever have to see them doing _anything ever again_. Then he's happy.

* * *

Feedback would be greatly appreciated! :D


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